<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>please don’t leave me by pissfizz</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992377">please don’t leave me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissfizz/pseuds/pissfizz'>pissfizz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SK8 the Infinity (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment Issues, Angst, Anxiety, Chinen Miya-Centric, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Kinda, Mental Breakdown, No Dialogue, Trust Issues, Unreliable Narrator, hes only thirteen guys he’s being put in a very hurtful situation, i love him so much why must I hurt him like this, kind of an abrupt ending? Idk it felt a little funky to me, reki broke his promise &gt;:(, the renga drama is really messing him up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:42:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissfizz/pseuds/pissfizz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Langa’s not the only one who broke a promise. </p>
<p>Aka Miya feels like he’s being abandoned all over again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>please don’t leave me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok so starting off with a big ol TW for everything mentioned in the tags—seriously dudes. He’s got some major self doubt, some anxiety, trust and abandonment issues, pessimism, all of it. </p>
<p>Also originally I was going to give him some comfort but I couldn’t find a way to add it realistically so he just has to suffer alone I guess. </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Music blared in Miya’s headphones as he stared down at his homework, his fingers wrapped around his pencil in a white knuckled grip. He turned up the wild electronic sounding music that was definitely not nightcore, hoping to drown out his racing thoughts. He tried to read the questions on the paper, but he couldn’t focus. He bit his lip in an attempt to ground himself, but it did nothing. With a defeated sigh, he threw down his pencil, burying his face in his hands. He couldn’t do this. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Miya was scared. God, he was scared. Reki lied to him. He had told him, he had </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">promised </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">him, that he’d never leave him. He said skating was supposed to be fun, he said he was Miya’s friend. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Friends aren’t supposed to betray you like this. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reki </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">knew </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">what Miya’s old friends did— how they abandoned Miya out of jealousy. Now he was doing the exact same thing to Langa. Miya knew he probably didn’t know the whole story, but he could see what was happening. Langa was talented, and had blown past everyone at S in a mere matter of weeks, and now Reki has given up and has been avoiding him. He’s been avoiding </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Miya</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">. Call him selfish, but he didn’t want to lose him like this. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Miya sniffled, rubbing his face with his hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Come on don’t cry. Don’t be so pathetic. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was this just how people were? They make promises and make you care about them, only to leave when you accomplished something great? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Should Miya even try anymore? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe it’s his fault. Maybe he’s cursed. Without him they probably wouldn’t even be in this situation right now. If Miya had been better, would Adam have continued to seek him out, and leave Langa alone? Miya knew Adam had something to do with why Reki was distancing himself. Fuck. He should’ve been better. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Against his will, the tears began to run from his eyes, dripping onto his homework, leaving dark little dots on the page.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why can’t he just have friends? He would never admit it out loud, but he cared </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">so much</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1"> for his friends, old and new. His old friends had taken that deep care and trust and vandalized it in front of his face, and so he built up a wall so no one else could follow their lead and hurt it even further. Then Reki came along and broke through that wall like a titan, promised him he wouldn’t be like his old friends, and stupidly, Miya believed him. But he was just like them. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yet Miya still cared. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why the fuck did he still care? Reki lied to him, he betrayed Miya’s already fragile trust. It would only get worse from here, Miya knew it, so why did he still care? Why did he still pray for the two teenagers to make up? He wanted to help, he truly did, but he didn’t trust himself. This was about Reki and Langa not Reki and </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Miya</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">. He was being selfish. Langa was probably hurting so bad, his best friend that he was so </span>
  <span class="s2">obviously </span>
  <span class="s1">in love with is in the process of leaving him right now. But Miya still couldn’t help feeling like he was an elementary schooler forced to watch as his parents got divorced. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This fight was effecting everything. Sure, Joe and Cherry would still have each other, but without Reki and Langa, how would everyone stay together? Would Shadow still want to deal with the bickering duo? Would Shadow still want to deal with </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">him</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">? He was just a kid, what if the other three left him too with the middle ground gone? He’d be left all alone again, and this time, he wouldn’t make the mistake of letting anyone through his walls. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A choked sob escaped from Miya’s throat. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. It was late, and his parents were asleep, he didn’t want to wake them. Miya pulled his feet up onto his chair, curling into a tight little ball. He hugged his knees with the hand that wasn’t silencing his tears, his fingernails digging into the already scratched up skin of his legs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cherry Blossom and Joe didn’t care about him. He was just some annoying middle schooler that poked fun at their obvious sexual tension. They probably couldn’t wait until the opportunity opened up for them to leave him. Shadow didn’t care about him either. He treated the old man like shit, and even if Miya knew that he was doing it because he liked him, Shadow didn’t know that. He was probably annoyed whenever Miya hung around him. Why would three full grown adults care about him anyway? He was an infant to them, just a stupid kid that happened to be good at the same thing they were. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d yet to get much closer to Langa, but now he doubted that would happen. He thought he had a chance to become friends with him, but it was gone now. Langa would most definitely stop skating if Reki wasn’t there, and Miya didn’t know how to keep Reki from leaving. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reki. Reki cared. Or at least Miya thought he did. Reki had shown him some of the most unabashed care he’d ever received. Miya felt loved and important around Reki, and not just because he had talent. He felt like someone truly liked him for who he was, and cared about him as a human being. Miya cared about Reki just as much, probably even more, even if he didn’t show it so shamelessly. But surely Reki had to pick up on it somehow, surely he had noticed how Miya was slightly different towards him than he was to the others. Was Miya not enough? Was Reki’s care fake? Did...did Reki even care in the first place? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Miya’s chest hurt. His face was red and raw and covered in tears and snot, his breathing shallow and choked. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Stop crying, you’re going to wake someone up. </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">To him, Reki was the older brother he needed, but to Reki, Miya seemed to just be another kid. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to old Reki back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In a haze, he looked at the clock on his bedside table. He’d gotten back from S around one, and he had been studying for almost an hour before this breakdown started. How long had he been crying? He tried to read the green numbers, but he couldn’t see through his tears and matted eyelashes. He sniffed again, rubbing away some of the wetness on his face. He tried to slow his breathing down but it did little to help. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was just destined to be alone forever, wasn’t he? </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos, comments, bookmarks, and shares are greatly appreciated :) <br/>My tumblr is pissfizz if you wanna talk Sk8 :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>